Hello! This is Slayers Titanic. This fic is just um...Special! But, it's Funny!
<(((_^))> Ja ne!
Like the title pic?
Am- Why do I have to be an old lady?!
Li-Oh shut up "mother"! Hey author!
Li-Why am I in a dress?!! You better change my clothes right now or I'll…
Au-You'll what Lina? I'm the author. I control you in this story… Remember?!
Li-Umm…I was just saying how much I love pink and prissy!
Au-That's better! Now on with the story!
Li-Oh, it's such a big, pretty, big, rich, BIG boat!
Zel-Yes,…My Love!? Author, I demand better lines! My Love?!
Au-Ah, ah, Zel! I was going to cure you in this story but for that NO!!!! Now just stick
to the script or you'll be playing Lina's part!
Zel-EEPPP!! Let us go 'my love' and see the riches of the sea.
Li-Riches, did you say RICHES!! Oh man, I love the author now!!!
Am-Yes, 'daughter'! This is a ship of justice! It's unsinkable! Unsinkable?! Yeah right!
Au-Stick to the Script! And no justice crap!
As they enter the boat, a crew member runs happily up.
Xel-Hello and Welcome to the S.S. Titanic! I hope all is well with you! And I hope you
survive this lovely plot!
Lina-Xellos!? Why are you here?
Xel-Now that, is a secret!
Au-He's here for comical reasons
Am-Oh Zel, come to my trailor after this scene…
Zel-Amelia, GET OFF ME!!!! I am supposed to be 'married' to your daughter!!! Oh
thank you, author! Now I have a reason for her to stop being so 'clingy'!
Au-Your welcome, Zelly dear!
Zel-But why do I have to be with Lina
Au-Just be lucky I left out the car thing, was that even with you? I don't know, I hate that
Am-I'm beginning to hate it to.
Au-Yeah! WAHOO!!!!!!!! More Anititanics!
Au-Don't worry about it. Just proceed.
Zel-Did you call me 'Zelly dear'?
Au-Sore wa himitsu desu!
Zel-Great, she knows Japanese! You realize now that we're dead.
Xel-Well it IS in the script…
Li-Can it, fruitcake!
Am-'Daughter' we are rich pimps, so behave, and act like me and Daddy!
Li-NOT PRINCE PHIL!!! AUTHOR!!!
Au-Don’t worry, he's not in this. I can't stand him either. Hey after this, let's go to my
house and watch some Slayers!
Go-Hey! When do I come in?
Li-Not for a while! Well that's one cast job the author got right!
Xel-Lina! You really do like him!
Li-SHUT UP, FRUITCAKE!!!!!
Zel-When's my break?
Au-WILL YOU ALL JUST STICK TO THE SCRIPT!!!!????
Xel-Right this way to your cabins!
Am-Why thank you, sir.
Xellos leads them to the cabins
Li-When can I change!?
Xel-Why there is a pool…
Lina & Amelia-Wahoo!!
Zel & Xellos-Women…
Go-Wahoo! Isn't this were I come in!?
Go-Did you say, pool? WAHOO!!!
Zel-What a minute! Why is HE here?!
Xel-Yeah! This means we get to divise evil plots against the cast!
Rezo-Hold it! Maybe you can be the anchor…
Zel-Why me?! HELP!!!!!!
Xel-No one can here your plea!!
Au-REZO!! You know that you are supposed to do this to Amelia, NOT Zel!
Rezo-Uh. You mean you aren't Amelia?
Zel-You mean you thought I was that justice obssessed clingy Princess??!!!!
Zel-Just shoot me, NOW!!
Au-Sorry, Zel. We are speaking against guns. I don't want you to go honey!
Zel-Oh, Shut up! Namigomo!
Rezo-Is that any way to speak to the crew member who mans the life boats?!
Li-You mean HE gets to decide who lives and who is fish bait!?
Xellos grinned big and evilly.
Au-Now hold on!!! Can you get the script right?!
Rezo-I guess not…
Au-SHUT UP, REZO!!!!!
Am-Why are you wearing sun glasses? Your blind, remember?
Rezo-Shav doesn't want a tan!
Au-Will you all stop and follow the script before I turn you into jellyfish!!!
Go-I wanna jellyfish!
Au-SHUT UP!!!! Just follow the script and no one will be scarred for life! GOT IT?!!
Go-What do I do again?
Au-It's in the script
Li-You must mean the paper you used to cook the fish…
Au-You burnt my script!??? How DARE you!!! Do you realize how many trees you
could have saved?! URGG!!! NEVER MIND!! Gourry you go and meet Lina at the
pool. Then you fall in love instantly. NOW GO!!
Now at the pool…
Li-Watch me, Zel!
Zel-Why do I have to swim?! I can't swim! I just sink! It's not a hard concept! Rock
denser than water!
Au-I didn't say you had to get in the pool! Just look cute in your swimsuit!
Zel-I don't do 'cute'!
Au-Well I do!
Go-Umm…Hello! You look good in that swim suit!
Li-Why thank you, sir!
Suddenly an ear-splitting laugh rang through the boat
Suddenly a girl in a tiny bikini jumps in the pool
Li-The dress I can take…But NOT Naga!!
Naga-Hi there, flat-chested friend!
Au-You are NOT in this story!! So get into some real clothes and high tail it outta here!
Naga-I am Naga the Serpent! I will not take this…
Li-Now where were wwe? Why what is your name, sir?
Au-You don't tell her your real name! You just tell her some cutesy thingy!
Go-I don't do 'cutesy'!
Au-Well you do now!
With that the author turned Gourry into a bunny
Rezo-Ahh! Cute little bunny!
Xel-How about a rabbit stew?
Li-You are NOT going to cook my boyfriend! FIRE-…
With that Gourry was returned and needless to say Xellos & Rezo were quite angry…
Rezo-Hey! Can't we have any fun?!
The author threw down a rope and a 24 pack of Surge
Au-Go play with Amelia.
Am-But Miss! AHHH!!! HELP!!!
Zel-YES! WAHOO!!! I love you grandfather!
Xel-On with the story!
Lina & Gourry kissed blah, blah. This is a censored story so now on with the fun!
Cap-Ah! There is something up ahead (With a personality change) What is it, my dear
Captain (Change) Why it's a HEY?! AUTHOR!!!!
Cap-Why is there a giant bunny?!
Au-I like bunnies. Especially Zel bunnies!
Zel-I heard that!
Au-Make like it's an iceberg. This is a VERY low budget film so get on with it!
The Captain comes out onto the deck, screaming
Cap-AHHH!!! Lina Inverse?! You will die!!!
Li-Martina?! No wonder we are going to sink!
Cap-I heard that!
Zel-Well when are we going to hit the (BOOM) iceberg?
Am-AHHH!!! A BUNNY!!!
The Guys-NOT A BUNNY!!
Rezo-Zel get off me!! It's just a bunny!
They all stared and then laughed at Xellos
Li-Umm…I think we've entered the bunnita triangle. Talk about lousy lines…
Au-Yes. But doesn't Xellos look cute as a bunny!
Cap-Umm..WE ARE SINKING HERE!!!!!
Screaming Chaos…blah, blah
Cut to Zel, Rezo, Lina, & Gourry on a door at sea…
Li-Tell me one thing! What kind of a moron, made this original movie 'Titanic'?!
Zel-If I ever see him, he's going to DIE!!!!
Rezo-(Maniacal Laughter)Look behind us!
Sure enough, there was James Cameran sitting in a boat
Just the a cute little girl popped next to Lina
Go-Hey! You were the girl in all the scenes!
Li-Yah, but who is he?
Girl-He's the director
They all huddled around James…
Li-Darkness beyond twilight…
Gourry-Light come forth!!!
Rezo-Umm….What's my cool attack? Oh well!!!!
In the dressing room…
Am-Do you think it was necessary to blow that man up?
Li-Darkness beyond twilight…
Am-OKAY! He deserved it!
Zel-I HATE bunnies!
Xel-When I find the author..
Girl from before pops in
All-You're the author!!!!!????